Who Do You Need to Forgive?

When you look back on the journey of being an artist who do you need to forgive? I mean, if you've been doing this for any amount of time, there will be people to forgive.

The person who ripped off your idea. The person who told you to keep your day job after they saw what you made. The person who balked at your prices. The person who insulted you in front of your peers. The person who promised you that show (or book, or deal, or golden opportunity) and then flaked and disappeared. The person who never paid you for your work.

I could go on, but you get the gist.

When I look back at my creative journey and start to tally up what I call "a million little humiliations" I get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people I could forgive. And I feel bitter all over again. Why SHOULD I forgive them? What they did sucked.

But then I remember they're not the ones being held back by the past. They're not the ones hanging on to an unresolvable situation. They're not the ones waiting for an omniscient voice to boom from the sky, "You were right! They were wrong!"

It's just plain ineffective to live in the wounded place.

(How do you know when you're living in the wounded place? When someone presents you an opportunity and you approach it defensively. When you think about your past and feel bitter. When you overcompensate by trying to be perfect. When you turn down viable offers for fear of being hurt. When you believe all the negative crap people have said about you or your work.)

Talking about this today a dear friend and fellow entrepreneur reminded me that I am not the person I used to be. I am stronger, wiser, more powerful. And because of that I would never be caught alive in most any of those situations I used to put myself in when I was younger, situations that were breeding grounds for stress, anxiety and humiliation.

The great irony is that all of those hard moments with all of those jerks are what lead me to a place of greater strength. They're actually the reason my boundaries are stronger. The reason I can say no to opportunities that seem too good to be true. The reason I can spot a jerk, or a drama queen, or an abuser, or a hustler a mile away. The reason I value peace in my life above all else.

When I look at it through that lens and see the bigger picture, I know that my creative spirit was forged in the fire, and that I can forgive those people because they were part of one big, messy, painful soul plan that helped me step into my power.

And that's pretty cool.

But you know what else? There's one person who needs forgiveness more than any of these people. Me. (Extrapolating: the person you most need to forgive is you.)

I mean, how could we have let ourselves settle for less, or ignore our intuition, or stay in an abusive situation, or allow other people's opinions to shape us so thoroughly, or believe what that rejection letter said about work we knew was true to our heart?

I try to remember that we all show up with a stunted child inside, or with a family wound, or with an unconscious pattern, and when I remember that it becomes a lot easier to give myself a break.

Every one of us has been hurt by other people. The question is, will we keep letting that pain hold us back from our creative destiny, or will we release it and move forward?

Photo credit: Patrick Humphries/CC

Artists, It's Time to Get Over Feeling Icky about Self Promotion

As artists we strive to be authentic. We search for truth as we take something unseen and bring it to light. Our creativity is born of our unique vision, heart, and soul. It's hard then to see the concept of making a sale as fitting in with this pure self-expression. Time and again, through mass media and even our own artistic creations (particularly film and TV), we've been shown that salespeople are inauthentic. At best they're shallow and pleasantly disconnected (the QVC archetype), and at worst they're slimy, underhanded manipulators greedy for our hard-earned cash (the Snake Oil archetype).

With this kind of spectrum we're naturally repelled by the idea of trying to sell something.

We take the day job and keep art as a side gig or hobby, so it remains untarnished by the murky underworld of money. Yet, we simultaneously lament our lack of time and opportunity when it comes to our art.

Time and again artists who become successful at selling their own wares are seen as "sell-outs," the art world's dirtiest word and most scathing insult.

We've come to believe that artists who achieve status as not only full-time artists, but financially sound ones at that, lose something in the process - their soul, their vision, their edge.

This is unfair and a double standard. We can't yearn for a culture that supports artists then criticize those who receive support - monetary or otherwise. At this point in our cultural history, sales is no longer something to shy away from due to an outdated belief that doing so requires pimping a product we don't care about to an unsuspecting audience.

Selling is simply about finding a compatible home for the work we make so we can continue to make it. Today, artists who want to be doing it full-time must embrace making a living from their art, and understand that our creative expression doesn't just remain intact in the face of money, but thrives with the acquisition of it.

Truthfully, when we're turned off by someone promoting themselves it's not that they're promoting themselves, it's how they're doing it.

Being authentic is easier than ever. Thanks to the internet and social media we can now directly connect our daily lives with a growing audience. We can share images or thoughts about our creative process. We can ask questions to engage with fans, or for informative feedback. We can show works-in-progress, bringing people into the fold as we navigate our way through creation. We can even post about our kids, our animals, our food and more.

We can do these things, and we should if we want to be financially successful. These authentic day-to-day offerings are how we share our essence and our work with people we feel aligned with, people who want to own what we make. It's time for creative folks to show up, be visible, and let go of the idea that it's wrong to promote our work. The world needs successful, authentic, creative people who embrace their life's purpose by allowing themselves to be supported.

And, hey, even if you put yourself out there and don't make many sales for whatever reason (a reason you'll likely uncover if you keep at it), you can be sure that sharing your creative work will inspire other potential creators to express themselves, or encourage fellow artists to show up and be seen too.

If you want to learn to become a better receiver - of joy, pleasure, money, creativity, and more - please join me for theTao of Receivingonline program starting May 24, 2015!

Photo by MartinaK15/cc

10 Steps to Take When You're Having a Money Drama

It happens. You forget to pay a 0% credit card bill on time and now your interest rate has gone through the roof. You didn't anticipate your car breaking down, nor the subsequent whopper of a repair bill. You spent the fat paycheck from that last art sale on rent, but now the client wants to return the work. When that stuff happens and we get sent into a tailspin, it's a MONEY DRAMA. None of us are immune to these sorts of things, since life is chock full of unanticipated happenings. But unlike other out-the-blue occurrences, money dramas seem to really knock us off our feet and bring up all sorts of fears.

Fortunately, there are steps we can take to help us go from full throttle Money Drama Panic to calm and centered action.

1) Get Grounded. As mentioned, money dramas cause reactions (panic, anger, sadness, etc.), so the first the first thing to do is ground your energy. Take a few minutes to be alone, quietly, so you can ground and center yourself. This might include deep breathing, journaling, walking in nature, or anything else that brings you back to center.

2) Remind Yourself That You Can Handle This. Shift your thinking from panic to possibility by reminding yourself that you are capable of handling this problem with ease and grace. Saying things like, “Even though I feel panicked about this situation, I know I will find a way to resolve it,” or “I have been in tough spots before and I’ve always gotten through them. This is an opportunity for me to use my creative power to create a new, improved situation for myself.”

3) Set your Intention. Before getting into action, set your intention to help create the outcome you want. I usually say something like, “I intend for this situation to be resolved peacefully and easily.” “I intend for X to receive their money by the agreed upon deadline in a way that is easy and simple for both of us.” This may sound pretty woo-woo (and it is!), but it's also a powerful tool that clarifies for both yourself and the Invisible Powers That Be just exactly what you want to attain and in what manner.

4) Visualize. What does the resolution of this money drama situation look like? Figure that out, and then take some time to visualize it. Does it look like mailing next month’s rent? Does it look like finding your lost wallet? Take time to get clear on what resolution looks like. Just like setting intentions, visualizing is a powerful tool that sends a signal out to the universe relaying exactly what you want. It can then assist you in bringing you that.

5) Brainstorm Actions. Make a list of all the ways you can take action to resolve the situation. Don’t edit the list, just put all the possibilities out there. Think on people who may support you, or tools you could use, etc.

6) Prioritize and Take it Step by Step. Move forward toward resolution by being in action. Take one step at a time with the most important action item being handled first. Hard as it can be, don't shrink, procrastinate, or avoid getting into action when it comes to money dramas. They won't resolve on their own (trust me!)

7) Call in Support if Need Be. Whether you need emotional support, or actual tangible helping hands, consider asking for help if you need it. It's far too easy for folks to feel shame, embarrassment, or pride when dealing with money dramas, but truly EVERYONE has experienced them before. Knowing you're supported can make a huge difference to your state of mind, which, in turn, makes a big difference on the outcome.

8) Stay Focused on Big Picture. Know that this is a blip on the screen of your life. This situation will pass just like all the other challenges have passed. When you are dedicated and focused on healing your money drama and stepping into abundance, these situations will become fewer and farther in between. And, they will tend to move through more quickly as you engage your inner technology and outer action steps.

9) Fearless Self-Searching. Once your money drama resolves itself take some time to reflect on how and why the situation came to you. Ask yourself, “In what ways was I responsible for creating this situation?” “How can I alter my thoughts, behaviors or actions so that this situation does not happen again?” “Is there anyone that I need to communicate in a more clear and direct way?”  “Is there a system I can put in place to avoid this money drama in the future?” Using your money drama as a teacher, will serve you well in the future.

10) Get Empowered. Use this opportunity to step up your game. Take a money class, or enlist the help of an accountant, open a savings account, etc. Setting yourself up for success before a problem arises will help move you through them with ease and grace next time around.

Sure, it takes practice to slow ourselves down and reassess when freaking out, but with some dogged diligence you can find peaceful resolutions and redirect your energy toward something much more important and productive - being an artist.

Photo by Nate Steiner//cc

Starving Artist No More Testimonial

As I gear up to launch the Starving Artist No More e-course again next month, I thought I'd share a really beautiful testimonial about the program from an incredible poet, author and teacher, Jennifer Lighty. Jen was part of the inaugural SANM course back in October with 12 other participants. It was truly humbling and awe-inspiring to see the amount of inner shifts and breakthroughs people had around money, self-worth, and the importance of individual creative expression.

Here's what Jen had to say about it:

"Before I took the Starving Artist No More e-course with Leigh Medeiros I probably referred to, or thought of myself as 'broke' at least once a day.  Over twenty years of following my calling to be a writer had brought me little to no financial benefit, and a load of debt that seemed overwhelming. But some voice inside said, 'You need to do this.'

I registered and paid for the course and immediately began to talk myself out of the possibility that it could work, which I continued to do through the first two weeks of the course. However, I applied myself to the exercises and was amazed to discover how quickly my attitudes and beliefs about money began to shift as I became curious at how those beliefs had been shaped by my parents, culture, and personal experience.

I was wary of New Age 'woo woo' practices that promised quick fixes without considering the deeper underlying problems, problems that I believed, stemmed from money itself. Money caused people to do terrible things to each other and the earth, but I needed it to live. Not only that, I wanted it. I lived in a constant state of worry and frustration. This conflict about my desire, layered with shame about not having enough money, resulted in constantly feeling that I was not good enough as an artist or person.

Through working the Starving Artist No More program I was able to repair my self-esteem and shift my perspective towards money in ways that feel miraculous when I look back at how I felt before the course. My relationship with money has totally shifted. I no longer feel 'broke.' I believe in myself, and though the course has just ended, I have begun to see results in the material world as well as the emotional.

The support, enthusiasm, vision, and encouragement that Leigh Medeiros provided throughout the course was generous and grounded. If you, like me, have ever felt that money is holding you back from your dream of bringing your creative gifts to the world, take the leap and sign up for this course. You will not regret it. You will probably be writing a testimonial for it yourself!"

WOW. Thank you, Jen, for your amazing dedication, spirit and kindness. 

Art and Money: What Does Your Money Look Like?

A year ago I decided to be done, like really DONE, with being broke. I've documented some insights on the journey toward a new relationship with money here in various blog posts (including this one that went viral), and I've been teaching what I learned to other artists in the Starving Artist No More program. It's been an incredible 12 months of learning and expanding. Without the dire straits of being on the brink of brokeness, my energy has begun to level off. I'm not rolling in the dough, but I'm not struggling like I used to. I know better what I'm worth and, more importantly, how to create and co-create money. It's times like this - calm, satisfying times - that I know I really have to keep up the work. While peacefulness is my favorite state of being, it can lead to complacency, which is the pre-cursor to backslide.

So, my practice for this week has been to recognize what money looks like in my life. I've found that when we stop obsessing on the acquisition or loss of little green pieces of paper two things happen: 1) we realize our lives are more abundant than we thought; 2) we focus on end results instead of on an inherently worthless thing - money. After all, money is only a tool that represents potential. In and of itself it shouldn't be the goal.

The other day when my boyfriend and I were in the car talking about finances I started listing what money looked like in my life right now. Here are a few of the ways it's showing up for me: 4 to 6 hour work days, three months of gas money for traveling around New Mexico, hiking at various (insanely gorgeous) National Parks and natural spots, donations to animal rescue organizations, the purchase of paints and canvas, the ability to be somewhat spontaneous with my schedule, red and green chile enchiladas at delicious local restaurants, a new dress for my best friend's wedding, a piece of handmade horsehair pottery, getting my storytelling fix with Netflix TV shows at night, delicious and healthy vegetarian food, and more.

You see, money doesn't look like money. Money looks like feelings, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle choices, and sometimes, yes, things.

More than anything, money, for me, looks like freedom. When I look at what money creates in my life I feel abundant, which is the opposite of how I often feel when I only look at numbers and financial transactions. It might seem small, but it's a shift in perspective - the perspective of abundance.

It's not to say that we shouldn't look at our finances, we absolutely should. It's just a reminder to look too at the results of those numbers going up and down. Those results add up to our quality of life, our ability to serve, and the ways we can express ourselves in the world.

So what does money look like in your life? Look around and make a list! Acknowledging your abundance in whatever forms it shows up is one of the first steps to bringing more of it in.

Guest Post: What I Learned from Crowdfunding

Today's post comes to us via the seriously RAD metalworker Leslie Tharp, who shared her insights about her crowdfunding campaign. Check out Leslie's Kickstarter campaign HERE. (Hurry! Today is the last day to support this lovely project.)

My name is Leslie Tharp and I create large metal sculptures. My current project, Lift, is a metal hot air balloon inspired installation created for exhibition in Scottsdale, Arizona at Belle Art in February 2014. The balloons will be created by suspending metal rings. Below each balloon will be a bench, inspired by the basket of a hot air balloon, and created with hot woven metal in the same weaving pattern as a balloon basket. 

This will be the biggest piece I’ve ever created. It will be installed far from my home in Florida. And, it’s the first time I’ve turned to crowdfunding to raise money to help me create my work.

I’m currently wrapping up a Kickstarter campaign to help me raise funds to create this piece, and I’ve learned A LOT of lessons along the way! Here are some of them...

IT TAKES PLANNING. Planning out how I wanted to present the project itself took weeks. It’s best to have a really defined vision and goal so your backers know what they’re supporting. Make it clear; make it honest.

IT TAKES TIME. Just collecting footage, images, and editing the video for the project site took me weeks. The video is the inspiration for your backers, so it’s definitely worth working on, and a second set of eyes is always helpful for these things.

IT TAKES COMMUNICATION. Be prepared to talk a lot. I’ve spent hours upon hours every single day talking with people about the project making sure I communicate its value to me, as well as my appreciation of their support.

IT TAKES PEOPLE. It really takes a lot of people to make this happen. Utilize all the social media outlets you have, and try to get some media attention. You’ve got to get the word out! Nothing compares to speaking with people one-on-one about what you’re trying to do.

IT’S NOT KICKSTARTER. IT’S YOU! Kickstarter is a tool. It's a platform for artists to fundraise for their own projects. This is a tremendous asset for not only the artists but for those who support the arts, those who can now invest in the work they want to see brought into the world! It’s pretty damn empowering, so use it to your advantage. Ultimately it’s YOU that’s making this happen!

IT CHANGED MY APPROACH TO MAKING ART. Out of all the changes that have happened throughout this project the biggest one has been my approach to my art practice. The act of opening up and asking for help to create Lift has required me to grow as both an artist and a person. Every step of this has forced me to get out of my own way, and to stop doubting myself and my goals. I’ve really had to step out of my comfort zone and develop confidence for my work.

JUST GO FOR IT! It’s good to get ready, but in the end just jump in and try it out! I promised myself last year that I would stop telling myself no, that if I was going to really push my career into new territory I was going to hear plenty of no's, so I would need to be the voice of YES. I’ve really had to test that promise during this project, and have faith that this work is worth asking for support to create.

You can see more about my project at Kickstarter.com and LeslieTharp.com

Leslie Tharp is a female metalworker who utilizes both traditional and modern metalworking techniques to create both large public sculptures and unique home accessories. Leslie received her BFA from the University of Florida in 2008. Driven by her philosophy that art is for everyone and should be everywhere she has been working to create public artist ever since. See more of her work at LeslieTharp.com (Photo by Dale Gunnoe.)

I Had an Epic Money Meltdown, But I Got My Mojo Back

Last Spring I had an epic meltdown over $15. That's right, FIFTEEN measly bucks. I was in between freelancing paychecks and my bank account got low, like close-to-looking-like-a-goose-egg low. Even still, I wasn't particularly worried. I'd been on the freelance roller coaster many years and had learned that money always comes. Sometimes late. Sometimes not enough. But it always comes.

On this particular Friday night one of my favorite musicians, Jonathan Richman, was playing a local club and I really, really wanted to go. Only I didn't have $15 to get in the door. I refused to take money from my boyfriend (who had already fronted me a couple hundred bucks for rent while I waited for the next check to come in) and I refused to use a credit card ('cause I learned THAT lesson long ago.) Realizing I would miss the show over something as silly as fifteen bucks, I stomped around the apartment and let my mood sink into a foul, irritable place.  An incident from twelve years earlier popped into my head, a falling out with someone over the same amount of money. (Long story short: They owed me. I needed it. They didn't pay me back.)

As I banged around the kitchen that Friday night, putting away dishes and not seeing Jonathan Richman, the idea that perhaps nothing had changed in my financial life over the past dozen years hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks.

I went to bed early, unleashing all the horrible thoughts I'd been keeping at bay, starting with "You're forty years old and can't even come up with fifteen dollars. You clearly have no idea how to take care of yourself," and ending with the worst kinds of dark, unspeakable thoughts such as, "You are useless. Nothing ever changes. You might as well not even be here."

If that sounds dramatic, well, it was. I sobbed, and I sobbed. I cursed the universe. I cursed myself. I scribbled every negative thought into my journal with such ferocity that it indented several blank pages behind it. I spiraled down, down, down until finally I beseeched the universe, "Help me! Help me, for f*ck's sake! Can you hear me?? I need HELP." At which point these words popped into my head: "Go back to bed, Liz." Which is a very funny joke if you've ever read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. (Duh. Of course you have.) Bless it. That kernel of humor broke through my despair and enabled me to fall asleep.

In the morning I felt different. Better. Sure it's a cliché, but I DID feel lighter, like I'd suddenly looked down to see I'd been carrying around a heavy bag of garbage for no good reason, and the mere recognition of its existence allowed me to drop it. In the light of day I knew I wasn't in the same place as twelve years before. I was much more empowered around money, more refined in my skills, more aware of my confidence. The foolish cry for $15 was symbolic more than it was literal. It was the place where the end of a line touches the other end of itself to complete a circle. The meltdown was a strange kind of closure, the end of a Super Sucky Cycle.

Later that day I burned those journal pages and had a christening ceremony in the bathtub. I gave myself permission to let go of the past and step into a new chapter. Then, I got back to work. And soon after things started to look up financially. I became more and more aware of how I'd been sabotaging myself over the years, how I'd been settling for less, how I had allowed myself to ignore money in the hopes of it just miraculously working itself out.

With determination and patience I peeled off my financial onion layers, one tear-jerker at a time, until I got my mojo back.

For those of you who might be circling the drain as I was on that Spring night, I'll share a few insights from the journey, some steps that got me from Point A: Meltdown to Point B: Mojo.

1. Give up. That's right. GIVE UP. Decide you can't do it anymore, whatever IT is. (Hint: "It" is a drama of some kind.) Because if you're stubborn like I am, it takes a Grand Epic Meltdown such as the aforementioned to admit things aren't working for you. And that's at the heart of giving up - being honest that something isn't working and admitting that you have no bloody clue how to fix it. (Note: Giving up is not actually necessary, because it turns out you don't have to suffer in order to receive. If you're smarter and savvier than I, you could also just skip the drama and decide to change.)

2. Beseech the heavens. I understand this may be a challenge if you are not prone to believe in a higher power. As a former atheist, I feel ya. That said, a little cursing - followed up with a lot of humility - directed at the Invisible Powers That Be is a good release. And, if nothing else, you've put yourself, emotionally and energetically, in a position to receive.

3. Make like a hawk. Anyone who's into animal totems will tell you that the hawk is a bird with a powerful message. This sexy raptor is all about focusing on your goals and desires within the big picture. The idea here is two-fold: first you have to figure out exactly what it is you want, then you determine how that fits into the larger scheme of your life. In essence, craft yourself a big ol' plan, then break it down into small steps that you can focus on.

4. Loosen the reigns. Once your hawk-like skills are in place, loosen the reigns. Know that you are but a cog in a much larger machine. All you can do is what you can do. There is such a thing as working TOO hard. Remember, you aren't just creating, you're co-creating with the Invisible Powers That Be. They want to help you. In fact, it's their mission to do so. Be active, but not willful. Do what you can do, then step aside and allow those Invisible Superstars to do their job too.

5. Behold the mojo. There's a saying that goes something like, "What you put your attention on grows." Start to notice what's working - financially and otherwise - in your life. Some folks do a daily gratitude list, some keep a success journal, some have a friend they can speak to or even a prosperity partner. If you get in the habit of writing down, thinking about and speaking of the things that ARE working in your life, you will bring more of them to you. (Law of Attraction, yo!)

Remember, if you have an Epic Money Meltdown, know that it - as with everything in life - will inevitably shift and change. Know too that making money is not what you were lead to believe it was, a fixed and rigid process with a known set of variables. Finally, know that you have choices on this journey. I made one that Friday night. My boyfriend offered me the money, and I could've easily paid him back later, but I wanted things to be different. Though I didn't know it at the time, drawing that line in the sand and giving in to the meltdown, lead me to greater understanding and a transformative shift that was truly priceless.

And, man, next time Mr. Richman comes to town, you can bet I'll be front and flippin' center.

(J. Richman photo by Michael Gallacher)

Art & Money: Why I Turned Down a Dream Job

A friend had emailed me a link with a message, "Did you see this job? It's made for you!" She was right. They were looking for someone to help manage an Artist Residency program, and the job description requested a candidate with just about every skill I'd ever acquired in my working adult life, from supporting artists to social media content creation to arts administration and more. All that, and the gig was in one of my favorite towns in the country, a tiny desert outpost with temperate weather and an abundance of creative folk.

I made up my mind then and there, this was MY job. I was meant to apply and meant to receive it. The universe - via my friend - had delivered me a shining, clear beacon of light that blasted out the message, "Leigh, behold your next step!"

So why, when I was offered a second interview, did I end up declining it?

Here's what happened: I applied for the job. I dreamed of it daily until I got a call for an interview. The interview, which was supposed to last a half hour, lasted an hour and forty-five minutes. That's how well I got on with the program director. We scheduled a second interview for a few days later. In the meantime, I went to my mother's house to clean out some boxes in her basement. The years of paperwork I uncovered in this archeological dig included the last 12 of my freelancing "career." As I sorted through the paper avalanche, I came upon page-after-page and note-upon-note of scribblings about dream jobs - the ones I applied for, the ones I got, the ones I didn't get -  as well as several plans, schemes and brainstorms about my own creations that were going to lead to a lasting and fulfilling work life. There was the pricey short film that was going to launch my film career, the proposal for an art school in that abandoned building, a file cabinet's worth of stuff from my short-lived art gallery, and much more. As I read through it all, it occurred to me that there were very similar notes on my desk at home from just two days ago, notes of inspired ideas and the accompanying monetary calculations of how these inspired ideas were going to allow me to eat, feed and shelter myself. None of those ideas of years past had panned out in a sustainable way, even the ones that were "sure things," the ones that the universe, I thought, had brought me at just the Right Time, the ones that were supposedly "meant to be."

Sifting through these 12 years of papers, I suddenly felt as though I'd uncovered the inner workings of a mad woman. It seemed I'd been doing the same thing year after year, but expecting different results.

I spent the next couple of days in a state of anxious despair. I wanted the artist residency job, but I knew taking it would mean a lot of financial finagling. Come to find out, there was no actual pay for the job, though it included housing and access to studio space. "But this job was meant to be!," I kept thinking.

Finally, after a long chat with my best friend, I had a revelation, what some might call an A-Ha! moment. I understood that I'd been making all my day-to-day career decisions based on the need for money, but making all my big picture career decisions on inspiration alone. In both instances I had been leaving out a necessary part of the process. I should have been making ALL my creative career decisions with both inspiration AND money in mind. You see, I thought if I was inspired to do something, if it was meant to be, then the financial end would just all work out. It truly never occurred to me that I was supposed to do anything else but follow my heart. After all, that notion is drilled into us as artists: "Follow your bliss." "Don't take a job just for the money." etc. In the arts we're fueled by inspiration. It's our currency. Just about everything we do hinges on it. Perhaps that's why it took me forty years to fully understand that there were two steps in manifesting an ideal art career - Step 1: Feel the inspiration. Step 2: Get in action to make sure the money piece supports the inspired idea.

The brainwashing I'd had around the perils and evils of money did not allow me to see that taking care of my finances before leaping ahead was actually a giant act of self-care. Turns out when we make decisions based on both inspiration AND money, we are truly setting ourselves up for sustainable and lasting success.

And so, with the mantra of "We must give up what is good to get what is better," I declined the second interview at my dream job. I lost an opportunity, but gained a much greater understanding, one that will serve me for the rest of my life - my creative, financially sound, sustainable life.

(Light bulb photo by Anthony Storo.)

One Big Way Artists Fail at Self-Care

My friend writes a column for a quarterly newsletter. The column profiles a notable member of the organization she's writing for. To prep for it she interviews the person by phone, emails with them and extensively researches their background. It takes hours of work, and that's all before getting down to the nitty-gritty of writing. The last time I called, it took a few days for her to get back to me. When she finally did, she was decompressing from the frantic scramble of submitting the column just before deadline. Turns out the subject had only scheduled their interview two days before her own deadline. Something, my friend, noted was typical.

"I give them a five-week time period to connect with me and they always wait until the last day."

So I asked the question that I felt was most obvious, "Why would you give them a deadline that ends just two days before your own?"

She laughed when I asked her that. In fact, she'd never thought about it doing it differently.

You see, my friend wasn't thinking about herself and her own deadline. She was focused on giving each person the most amount of time possible to get their materials to her. In doing so, she neglected to honor her own needs that would allow her to write the column without being rushed.

This is one of the biggest ways artists fail at taking care of themselves, by being overly accommodating to others.

What's worse is that most often the other person doesn't even realize you are accommodating them. Nothing like bending over backwards for someone who isn't aware of it!

So why is this a big deal? Because time after time I've seen artists get burnt out by over-giving. I've been there myself. There are a number of reasons we do this - from learned behavior to fear of potential conflict - and all those reasons end up ultimately coming back to bite us in the proverbial butt.

In the instance of my friend, this was to be the last column she wrote for the organization. The process exasperated her. Oh, and did I mention that this was volunteer work? OUCH.

Friends, please value your time and create boundaries that allow you to flourish. It will serve everyone in the long run. We need our artists more than ever on the planet. Self-care starts with the individual. The better we get at honoring our own creative needs, the more ultimate good we can do for the world.

12 Ways to Kick Your Starving Artist to the Curb

A dear friend visited me this week and the first thing we did, after securing our cozy corner table at the café, was launch into a conversation about her new boyfriend. (Yes, we are a cliché.)

My friend mentioned that her new BF, a super talented artist, was having a lot of money problems, but had recently approached a buddy about going into business together. They were going to split all the profits 50/50 down the middle. When my friend pointed out to her new guy that he personally owned all $50,000 worth of gear they'd be using in this business and perhaps he should take a much larger percentage than his friend, he balked at her and replied, "That's not the way it is with artists." OUCH. (interjection. See also: Ugh.)

You feel that punch in the heart? Yeah, me too. Because he's RIGHT. That isn't the way it is with artists, at least most of them. Most artists feel icky around money, especially when it comes to transactions with friends. Who am I kidding? Most artists feel icky about financial transactions with just about anybody, am I right? (That was rhetorical. We know I'm right.) Then we all sit around and wonder why we're always so broke and tired. Duh.

Here's the thing: we've been brainwashed, friends. Money is not the enemy. The enemy is LACK. Struggling to make ends meet is not helping your creativity in the long run, believe me. I speak from experience. Years upon years of financial struggle brought fatigue, sleeplessness, anxiety, ovarian cysts, broken relationships, and resulted in LESS creative work being made overall.

The great joke perpetrated on artists and creative people over the centuries is that money is evil and has no place in an artist's life. (Unless, of course, a Glamorously Wealthy & Eccentric Patron appears out of thin air, recognizes your unparalleled brilliance, and wants to fund your lifestyle. Um, good luck with that.) The cultural ideology that allows artists to feel noble in their poverty, while disrespecting the actual work they produce is, quite frankly, a bunch of bullshit. It's a scam, a sham and a fraud. The icon of the starving artist is an outdated model designed to keep us relegated to the margins. Imagine a world where artist and visionaries have true wealth. You can bet your butt this planet would be a lot different, a lot better, than the one we're living in.

Which is why I want you to make some money. No, not just "some money" actually, A LOT of money. Because you'll do good stuff with it.

Trust me, I know it's not easy to live in a society that devalues art. It's heartbreaking to have friends and family think what you do is frivolous. And it's disheartening to want more money, but have no idea how to make it. Even with all that junk and negativity, there are things we can do - that we NEED to do - to tip the scales in the other direction, the direction of money in your pocket.

So, without further ado, here are 12 ways you can change your mind about money and kick your starving artist to the curb.

1) Get better boundaries around money. Until you become financially solvent, stop giving your time, energy and skills away - to your friends especially. At the very, very least, set up a barter or trade. If you need to, tell your friends you're working on raising your wealth consciousness and need to decline collaborating with them until you get yourself in a better place. True friends will get it. When somebody approaches you about working together, ask them what the terms of the agreement are then practice this response, "It sounds good. Let me think about it and get back to you in the next couple of days." If, after a few days, it doesn't sound like something that's going to put money in your pocket, come back with a counter offer or politely decline. (I know, it sounds simple, but it's hard. Remember, practice makes perfect.)

2) Stop saying you "hate money." You really don't hate money. You hate greed. You hate conflict. You hate struggle. You hate manipulation. You hate racial and class divides. You hate worrying about money. Money is only paper that represents a trade of goods or services. Money is neutral. Changing the way you think about money is truly the first step in getting more of it.

3) Look to other artists who are doing it bigger and better. Can't figure out how to make ends meet? Find an artist you admire who does and study their behavior like a hawk. Look at their website, marketing materials, Twitter feed, daily habits, press and publicity, attitude, etc. Use them as a mentor and role model to help you live into a bigger, better vision of yourself.

4) Value yourself. Many people who are wiser than I have said it - there's a direct correlation between your bank account and your self-esteem. You have value. I don't mean that to be a sweet sentiment, I mean it literally. You have value, as in "monetary worth." Know it, believe it, practice it. And, no matter what anyone tells you, valuing yourself does not de-value others. It simply allows you to do what you came here to do - be a rock star creator who changes the planet for the better. Right?

5) Invest in yourself. This is like a zen riddle. "How can I invest in myself when I have no money?" The key is in understanding how investment works. It took me years to really get that true investment is not money that goes out into the world and doesn't come back like, say, the electric bill. True investment pays off beyond the original sum of money, and in a timely manner. When you, for example, enroll in a Photoshop class to hone your skills knowing it will get you more clients, that's a true investment. When you have a great idea for another short film, but lack an understanding of how that will further your creative career, that's not a true investment. It's an expense. (That one is taken straight from my personal history books. Ahem.) My largest financial pay-offs have followed investments I've made in getting more visible and more skilled in what I do, AND knowing that those investments would pay themselves back. It's about 1) taking the plunge even when you know you don't have the money right now, and 2) choosing wisely so the investment you make both takes you to the next level and expands your financial well-being.

6) Charge more for your work. If this blog post is resonating with you, chances are you're charging way less than what you should be. The trick is to know that about yourself. Here's an exercise: come up with the amount of money you're going to charge for your next book, or your next speaking engagement, or your new graphic design service and now raise it. Raise it until it's just outside your comfort zone, the place where you think to yourself, "I don't know, will people pay that??" The answer is yes. They will. Perhaps not your current clients, but certainly future ones, the ones you'd rather be working with anyway since they know the value of your work. (Hurrah!) Trust me, you will find people to pay you what you're worth. Once you raise your prices and see that people keep paying, you've successfully expanded your wealth consciousness. And by doing that you've helped pave the way to more income. Experiment with raising those numbers on a regular basis as your work gets more mature and your skill set grows. Employees at traditional businesses get raises every one to two years. Remember that you deserve one too.

7) Get clear about how much money you want. How much money do you want to make in the next year? If you don't know, find out! Start by figuring out your monthly expenses, multiply it by 12 to get your yearly expenses (include extra for unforeseen emergencies like car issues, computer failure, etc.) Then figure out the things you want this year, everything from more money for groceries to a painting trip to Italy. Add those two numbers together then divide by 12 to get your desired monthly income. Once you have that number, write out a plan as to how much artwork you have to sell, or performances you have to give, or services you have to offer every month to achieve that goal.

8) Cultivate faith. Even for people who have a spiritual belief system, faith can be hard to come by. The very act of doing it seems counterintuitive. "You want me to do something terrifying like spend money I don't have then pretend like it will all work out? Wha?" In my own personal experience, when I've acted on faith - that is to say, when I've moved forward in the direction of my dreams knowing that I would be taken care of even though I couldn't see how - it all worked out. Faith requires actively letting go of control and a constant commitment to trust. It's hard, nail-biting work. But, I've experienced faith as a state of being (beyond one's religious belief) that brings forth alignment, whether that be alignment with a new client, gallery owner or music gig. "Act as if" is the mantra to bear in mind when practicing faith. Give it a go, especially when you have nothing to lose.

9) Visualize having it. Again, wiser folks (such as Wayne Dyer, Shakti Gawain and, even, Albert Einstein), have more clearly articulated the whys and hows of visualizing. The gist is that picturing yourself, or your creative work, where you want it to be (instead of where it actually is) helps you in getting to that place. It's the practice of repatterning your thoughts to believe in possibility instead of lack. At the very least, this practice will make you feel good in your body. I love nothing more than waking up and thinking about my ideal writing studio. The sunlight, the white walls, the big windows, the bookshelves, the plants, and more. Instead of depressing me with a vision of what I don't have, it actually energizes me, and allows me to clarify the direction I'm heading in. 

10) Remain active. Passivity and, even worse, resignation is the kiss of death. Stay active in your life. Don't have any money this week? Go into the basement and figure out what you can sell on Craigslist. Feeling terrified about looking at your credit card statement? Take a deep breath and open it. Write out a plan to pay it down. Do a Google search on "venues for potters" or "how to record your own album." Get out of the house and go to an artists happy hour or networking event. Keep living into possibility while you educate yourself. Whatever you do, don't sit around thinking money will fall from the sky or a knight in shining armor will save you. YOU are your own savior, and you have what it takes to get what you need. C'mon, be creative! If anything, you know how to do that.

11) Stop doing what you don't want to do. I'm not talking about the little things, like tackling that pile of dishes. I'm talking about those part-time jobs and financial obligations you took on "because you had to" or "because the money was too good to pass up." Those things you resent having to do, the things you loathe. Trust me when I say: it's not worth it. It's not worth what it does to your heart, mind and soul. Even if it is lining your pocket a little. There are other, better, ways to make money. FIND THEM. And quit that damn silly gig once and for all.

12) Know your big picture vision and make every decision with it in mind. This one took me years to get. I was so busy in my day-to-day struggles trying to make ends meet that I never stopped to think about what I really wanted in the big picture. What kind of lifestyle, what kind of artistic venues, what kind of spaces I wanted to live and work in, what kind of family I wanted to have, how I wanted my body to look and feel, who I wanted to spend time with in community. I'm talking about those things that add up to a satisfying creative life. When you take the time to get really clear about who you want to be and where, what, who you want to do it with, it will help you clarify every decision you're making right now. Because everything you're doing now informs who you are becoming and will be in the future. Go forth making bold decisions with Future You in mind. 

So, how can you implement these ideas? I recommend getting a journal and using it daily to visualize, plan, activate and create more financial abundance in your life. I also recommend getting a creative buddy who's in the same position as you - broke, but dreaming of a better place - and scheduling a weekly check-in or meet-up with them. Working on any one of these things will help break the spell that's been cast on us, the one that has us believing poverty is romantic and real artists reject money. The truth is, real artists create great stuff no matter what their bank accounts look like. It's just that the ones who aren't desperate for cash all the time are having a MUCH better time.